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i'm very glad to hear that he has a good relationship with his children

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goodnatured



Joined: 03 Nov 2007
goodnatured's page
Posts: 3931



490 Magic Points

 
Posted on Tue Nov 06, 2007 1:15 am  

You hit the nail right on the head debtstinker, a child will learn from these parents and hopefully get some good foundation values to build on. I have a client right now who is a single father, his wife passed away unexpectedly, they have four children ages four through thirteen. It is especially hard for him because he was not the stay at home parent, she was, now that she is gone, he has to pull both ends. I think women adjust quicker to these roles than our male counter parts. He is struggling, but will be okay, I think. He is planning to further his education and work at the same time. Should be a real challenge, fortunately he has a great relationship with his children and they are supportive of his plans. He has little family support outside of them.
Parenting is tough enough with two in the household, So I give kudos to those who manage to play both roles and be successful at it.
debtstinker



Joined: 03 Nov 2007
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Posts: 272



-4 Magic Points

 
Posted on Tue Nov 06, 2007 1:39 am  

oh my gosh so sad! for all the single fathers out there, are there programs available to help him shoudl he need it? i mean i don't know if he's in financial need and i know that you can't divulge too much, but you don't hear about single fathers much. I thought there was a program in Philadelphia for single fathers, wondering if there's any in the community to help.
yes, parenting is hard at time sbut so very rewarding .i'm very glad to hear that he has a good relationship with his children.
goodnatured



Joined: 03 Nov 2007
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Posts: 3931



490 Magic Points

 
Posted on Tue Nov 06, 2007 2:55 am  

He was a tough nut to crack at first, alot of religious beliefs that interfere with progress sometimes, but he is starting to come around. He had some beliefs that I never heard of before, but I did not question them, not my place to. When he decided to move forward, he made some adjustments and come in on our earn program, other casemanagers are also involved with him now so he is in good hands. Hope he takes advantage of what we have to offer and put it to good use in a positive way that will benefit his family.
carol

carol

Joined: 27 Jun 2006
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Posts: 1299
Location: Los Angeles, California


30060 Magic Points

 
Posted on Tue Nov 06, 2007 4:37 am  

I cannot compare the capability of a father to a mother. Both have the parenting role to play. The only difference is the father is mostly the wage earner and can give the minimum time to the family. A mother on the contrary has to give the time.

However when responsibility comes it is the individual and his/her want to do something which helps a lot. He is the father and he knows his responsibility. So he will work towards it. I am pretty impressed that the kids will be now fathered and mothered by the same person. All the best to the family. Smile
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Carol
sdchargers_63

sdchargers_63

Joined: 13 Aug 2007
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Posts: 1883



1916 Magic Points

Subject: money
 
Posted on Tue Nov 06, 2007 12:40 pm  

This is how I feel about 'issues'......I've heard SOOO many single moms say, " if you father doesn't do..( whatever)..he can't see you." That's 'playing the child', in my opionion. You may NOT get along with the 'other half', but, it took BOTH of you to have that child and the child NEEDS both of you. My ex and I SOMETIMES get along..however, my son sees his dad everyday. Who am I to tell my son he CAN'T see his other parent? That's just 'playing games' with the child and using them as well.
debtstinker



Joined: 03 Nov 2007
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Posts: 272



-4 Magic Points

 
Posted on Tue Nov 06, 2007 7:17 pm  

SD you're right...as humans our pride and anger often come in the way of our priorities, our children. they deserve two parents if at all possible...at times, like in the case of good's client, that's not possible. sd you are very strong and your children will thank you both in the future Smile
Laura

Laura

Joined: 21 Jun 2007
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36215 Magic Points

 
Posted on Wed Nov 07, 2007 6:10 am  

Being a single mom or dad is really very difficult but its true that the child needs both and should be able to interact and spend time with both unless some sever circumstances. I remember my friend lost her father when we were in standard seven. She was a father's daughter. We could see the trauma in her eyes. I guess she pulled herself together by now. It is true that destiny decides what you have to face in life. I agree with your point Wendy but somehow its always not possible to get both when God does not allow.

We human beings can help when things are in our hands just the way you are doing. Your son definitely has a wonderful life and will turn out to be a strong man because he gets the love of both the parents. I pity those parents who take custody of their child after a divorce and do not allow the other half to pay even one visit to the child who came from both of them. This frustrates me a lot.
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Laura.
sdchargers_63

sdchargers_63

Joined: 13 Aug 2007
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1916 Magic Points

Subject: money
 
Posted on Wed Nov 07, 2007 8:50 am  

There is a neighbor of mine, a 14 year old girl, who comes and visits me alot. She is a VERY sweet girl..just seems like she has no 'direction'. Her parents are divorced, and she tells me ( ALOT) that her mom won't let the kids see their dad much. From what she tells me, there isn't alot of 'stability' in the family.not alot of communication ( and this is very sad). She says she tries to talk to her mom about certain issues, and her mom just says, " I don't want to hear it." Communication is one of the most important things you can have in a family.
sdchargers_63

sdchargers_63

Joined: 13 Aug 2007
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Posts: 1883



1916 Magic Points

Subject: money
 
Posted on Wed Nov 07, 2007 9:18 am  

DO want to add one more thing!.............those who are struggling financially ( what I see anyway..me included!!LOL) may be looking for extra ways to make money. And they post it on the forum. But, ( and I've been REALLY 'overlooking' this, too!) every time you make a post, that 'you' need to make extra money, 'you have ALREADY made a few cents...just by posting about extra money!! My point is..we all 'overlook' the 'small' things, when we have SOO many 'big 'things on our monds. Hope this made sense to everyone.
anthony

anthony

Joined: 31 Jul 2006
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Posts: 516



13606 Magic Points

 
Posted on Wed Nov 07, 2007 9:27 am  

Excellent post sdchargers.
Quote:

My point is..we all 'overlook' the 'small' things, when we have SOO many 'big 'things on our minds.


I simply loved the way you portrayed your idea. Yes we do need to be careful about the smallest things, overlooking which actually reduces the number of opportunities that we get.
debtstinker



Joined: 03 Nov 2007
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Posts: 272



-4 Magic Points

 
Posted on Wed Nov 07, 2007 12:58 pm  

Hi SD, yes that makes sense! I like it here posting, very personable and knowledgeable people here to help me and others. and really didn't think much about the money as it is a way for me to learn and interact which is important. Stay at home mothers choose a very different lifestyle than they were once used to and one of the compromises (which is very worth it to raise a little human) is to eliminate adult contact Smile Not only can I talk to adults but I can ask pertinent financial questions knowing that I'll get good relevant answers

not that I don't like being around little ones either...but typically one year olds don't converse much Smile getting used to the coos and babbles lol
Laura

Laura

Joined: 21 Jun 2007
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36215 Magic Points

 
Posted on Thu Nov 08, 2007 4:35 am  

HI Zergonese

This is a credit repair forum. If you have any inquiry regarding your credit and need advise on financial issues you can post here.
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Laura.
goodnatured



Joined: 03 Nov 2007
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Posts: 3931



490 Magic Points

 
Posted on Thu Nov 08, 2007 11:35 am  

Debtstinker, you are right about compromise, oh my, I don't think I would be happy being a stay at home mom, I need the outside work world stimulus, I was off for 20 days straight for surgery and even though I was in pain, I was going insane. I could not wait to go back to work. How are you handling it? How is your job search going?
debtstinker



Joined: 03 Nov 2007
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Posts: 272



-4 Magic Points

 
Posted on Thu Nov 08, 2007 12:53 pm  

Yeah some people good are just career minded people and that's ok as long as you realize your wants and needs! You have a little one to keep you occupied when you go home so you are a busy busy person im sure. I handle it better some days than others. ever since I actually found some things to do to occupy my mind it's not so bad lately. I write and visit the forums to post and found a great support group. job search, so slow. never in my life have i had so much trouble in finding a decent job that not only I will like, one that pays as childcare is an issue now. recently had an interview and hoping something will materialize out of that. applied to my old company like 2 months ago and STILL haven't heard anything about that. I've kept in contact with someone there and he said they still haven't even looked at the resumes. now this is a grant funded position that ends in June. they need this person but i guess they don't need them too badly Wink
can ya tell i'm frustrated Wink no all in all things are good, appreciate your help and you asking about me.
goodnatured



Joined: 03 Nov 2007
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Posts: 3931



490 Magic Points

 
Posted on Fri Nov 09, 2007 12:32 am  

Maybe it was not meant to be then, keep your chin up something will come along eventually.

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