Your Attitude affects others

Submitted by goodnatured on Fri, 12/07/2007 - 04:07

I have been having trouble with peoples nasty attitudes lately. I almost daily end up Reacting to someones bad attitude. It made me think, how we act really does affect others around us. Where I work, we do alot of customer service, believe it or not, not every problem is our fault.

So, when you are dealing with someone in a customer service situation, please keep in mind, they do not own the company or agency, they are there to service you the customer but being there to serve you does not mean that they deserve to have you being nasty to them. I am more inclined to help someone more if they treat me with respect. I think this is true of all people. I go to work everyday with good intentions, I am greatful that my input or help has assisted someone in being employed. I am honestly happy when we help someone succeed. Most people who are in a public service position are happy to help. Being a jerk won't get you anywhere, except nowhere.

There I vented, so be nice to people that are there to help you, I can just do my job or I can go above and beyond, it is all up to the customer. And the sad part is, I probably had my fill of confrontational people before you walked in and treated me like the dirt on the bottom of your shoes. So please, let me help you to the best of my ability and that ability will depend on how you first approach me.

You look like hurt. It is true customer service is treated like dirt sometimes. We have to be patient as well because they look after so many not only one.

Fri, 12/07/2007 - 11:45 Permalink

It is always my intention to serve the customer to the best of my ability, when someone comes in with a bad attitude, it affects everyone. Wish I just had a button to push and "poof" they would dissapear.

I wrote the post so that if you are a customer, be nice to the people who service you, you will get much better service.

Fri, 12/07/2007 - 15:50 Permalink

I have always believed that, too. "Don't shoot the messenger" -- the cust service is just following policies. If you don't like the policies, then you need to argue with someone higher up who has authority to bend the rules.

And too, "you can catch more bees with honey..." people are more inclined to help you out when you're being nice to them vs screaming their head off.

Like when I order something in a restaurant and my food comes out different than I ordered - I try to be as polite as I can when I send it back. Just makes for less spit in my food that way. ... And I used to work in a restaurant too ... I know we used to do some bad stuff to the people who gave us bad attitudes.

Sat, 12/08/2007 - 03:13 Permalink

I work in the employment counseling industry, we help people get jobs, we help them with their resumes and cover letters, we will call employers for them, etc. Just about anything they need we will do it for them.

People get us confused with unemployment alot of times and they come in and we help them file thier unemployment claims, because the process can be a little overwhelming at times.

however, we have some customers that are forced to come see us, like child support (deadbeat parents), felons, folks on assistance and etc. These are the ones that give us most of the crap.

Most of our customers come in voluntarily because we do have good relationships with the employers in our county, these customers far outweigh the ones that are forced.

But you know you can have one hundred good ones and it is the 2 bad ones that just really get to you.

Good for you for retailiating creditgrantor, some people just can be mean as heck. thanks for the reply.

Sat, 12/08/2007 - 12:25 Permalink

I know good, it's hard sometimes to focus on the positive that's human nature, we'll let the mean ones dictate how our days go unfortunately. it's hard to bite your tongue...i have a long fuse but when it goes off i go through the roof just my genes i guess :) I try to make the mean ones feel bad that they're being mean, it's like shoving a poll up you know where with no vasoline and they don't even know it's coming. they already got it but realize it later. that's my satisfaction!! not always, at work when folks are rude i try to let it roll off my back but in your situation good you work with people who are deadbeats, they know it, and yet they have this sense of self entitlement and think they own you because government agencies say that you'lre at their mercy sometimes. the good thing is like you said for every 2 a holes out there there are hundreds of good people who need help. i understand to some degree your frustration

Sat, 12/08/2007 - 13:03 Permalink

I am going to some training right now, I finish it up this week, one of the things that I have learned there is to re adjust myself mentally after dealing with someone who has a bad attitude. So, I am trying to practice this way to do things.

Had a county assistance couple in yesterday, they are in a co workers program, they both have alot of stuff in their backgrounds and they don't care to get jobs, but we have to make the attempt. She was a real jerk to me last time she was in, I told the co worker that works with them that he needs to tell them when he would be in because I was not working with them. It slipped his mind and he asked me to help with them, I did not, he came to me to tell me that they both have allergies. Allergies to what? "WORK? He laughed it off, but you know I am just tired of fully capable, LAZY people that want to lay around and collect welfare. If that is what they want to do, you are not going to motivate them at all and when they come in and are sarcastic toward you, then document your response and then file a complaint on you, I am not risking my job for these losers. These two are a prime example.

Most county assitant clients are open to our help and do want to change their way of living, they can't afford to live on what they get from the state, but can't afford to lose the medical, these ones, I will jump in and help him out with.

But it is obvious to me that these two are there to cause trouble so I will just avoid them.

Sat, 12/08/2007 - 13:15 Permalink

I find that sometimes showing a good attitude will make a nasty person even madder. Have you guys experienced this.

I found these quotes online about attitude and thought they were worth sharing:
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. ~Herm Albright, quoted in Reader's Digest, June 1995

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. ~Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book

Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching? ~Dennis and Wendy Mannering

The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders. ~Foster's Law

Defeat is not bitter unless you swallow it. ~Joe Clark

When you feel dog tired at night, it may be because you've growled all day long. ~Author Unknown

Sat, 12/08/2007 - 22:40 Permalink

Yeah i've experienced this too good. sometimes people just aren't happy unless they're unhappy and of course misery loves company. I would love to think that they reflect back on their behavior though. maybe some people are just mean naturally :( neat quotes, very true especially the mannering quotes!

Sun, 12/09/2007 - 01:47 Permalink

I have a freind that I am very mad at right now, she moved away and is still affecting our work environment. One of the agencies in our building layed her off and she continues to do stuff that affects all of us. Her attitude is that of vengence right now and she is not taking the time to see who all she is affecting with her phone calls and complaints. As a result of this behavior, we lost our senior workers and we have to take time, about 3 hours a day away from our jobs to do the front desk. I don't know that I can forgive her for making my worklife a living hell. She doesn't seem to care about who she affects, I can't be friends with someone like that.

Sun, 12/09/2007 - 12:43 Permalink

You want attitude, take my teenage daughter for a week, you will know bad attitude then. She is driving me crazy with her mouth and her craziness, always has to have the last word. I have three boys and one girl and the girl has enough attitude to cover all three boys. It gets totally out of hand sometimes. I am just about crazy with this girl, ready to send her off to bootcamp for an attitude adjustment.

Tue, 12/11/2007 - 02:22 Permalink

Teenagers are difficult to handle. Dont get mad at her. Deal with her with love and understanding. They go through a lot of emotional changes. If she doesn't get support in you she might look for it outside and fall in wrong hands. The best way is to shower love and give great understanding. Share with her and make her talk to you. You might feel like yelling but you have to do without it.
Only way to take care is by understanding and talking it out. What you can do is you can start talking to her regarding important issues and ask for solutions from her. Make her feel that she is important and grown up enough to give her views. Make her comfortable with you.

Dont take it otherwise cracker teen age is a very difficult age. all hormonal and emotional changes. You need to handle more maturely. :)

Tue, 12/11/2007 - 10:04 Permalink

Ditto Carol, you hit the nail right on the head, I see people go about crazy with their kids and wonder what they are doing wrong, teenage hormones are totally out of your control crackerjack, like the chicken pox, you have to wait it out. How you do it can make one heck of a difference.

Tue, 12/11/2007 - 12:05 Permalink

I know you guys, we will live through it, it is just really tough here right now, hopefully she will cool her jets over the holidays and don't make the whole house a miserable place to be for the rest of the family. I am dealing with it. And yes, I have already had the chicken pox, thank goodness or she would probably get and give them to me on purpose, lol

Wed, 12/12/2007 - 01:01 Permalink

I understand this. I wish you all the patience (luck) LOL. Trust me there is nothing as strong as patience. I was a teenager as well but my mom was very supporting.

Wed, 12/12/2007 - 04:19 Permalink

Hang in there cracker, I am sure this is just a phase she is going through, you both will make it through it one way or another.

Thu, 12/13/2007 - 01:01 Permalink

I know, I try to be patient, I know that she will get through this soon and I really want to thank everyone for listening to me complain, but it is good to get it off my chest. We have good weeks and bad weeks, I know eventually she will be out of school and on her own, I know I will miss her then (tear in the eye) but I just wish we got along better know. I appreciate everyones support, remember if you need teenager advice, I am here, but let me get through this one first.

Thu, 12/13/2007 - 18:33 Permalink

hey i have a problem with my own attitude sometimes if im agitated i take it out on others then i have to apoligize. i think everyone feeds off they own attitudes and everyone has bad days but be big about it, when you calm down apologize. i dont have time for people who stick thier noses up in the air or snobs no one is lower than me nor are they better. god made us all equal.

Mon, 01/21/2008 - 18:52 Permalink

You have to be careful taking it out on people dadummy, especially if they have nothing to do with what you are mad about. Some people get insulted or hurt by backlashing. Just becareful, you may find that some people won't accept your apology. LOL.

Wed, 01/23/2008 - 00:31 Permalink

I agree with attitude is a important part of everyday life. we take too much for granted these days. I know i get upset and take it out on others but i mostly apoligize after i explode. I should just stay locked in somedays, but everyone gets bad days some just handle it better than others.

Wed, 01/23/2008 - 00:49 Permalink

I have read some of your posts and don't think that you give yourself the credit you should dadummy. I think that if you take a few minutes to think before you speak you will be fine, you don't seem like the type that would intentionally try to hurt somebodies feelings.

I guess if you try to think about the impact that you have on others around you maybe you would not do it as much. It is not real good for your health either to get that upset about something. Don't let things escalate to that point, the boiling point is no place to be.

Another problem is that it could destroy relationships that you have. You don't want people walking on egg shells around you, that is just much more irritating.

Just take some time and try to think about how the other person really feels when you are slamming them, it is a hard habit to break, especially if you assume every time that your apology will be accepted, may be it is or maybe it isn't. People may say that they forgive you when really they are just saying that so that you won't explode again.

Just try to bite your tongue, take a deep breath, walk away, what ever it takes. You don't want to ruin relationships because of outbursts.

Wed, 01/23/2008 - 04:03 Permalink

I had this problem as well. But I took over it though it took me more than a year to control my wildness. Impatience and failure sometimes make you irrational and you do not judge before you shoot. I agree august that relationships might break because of this and it did for me. I learned a hard way. I really do not want you to go through the same Da.

Initially I would shout and scream and then calm down. By then I would have made the worst mistakes of my life. I might have shooed away many around me. I took a stance against my own behaviour. Whenever I was angry I locked myself in a room and shouted inside the pillow.LOL
But slowly and steadily the urge to shout soothed out. I am not easily angered because during those times I kept controlling my anger till the cause of anger went away. Im happy now, more soothing and sober. Pretty impressed by my own performances.

Wed, 01/23/2008 - 09:40 Permalink

Do you think it went a way because you were smothering yourself, LOL, just kidding.

I think that is great that you got a hold of yourself like that, you are your own counselor, awesome that you got it under control without any professional help or medication.

Wed, 01/23/2008 - 18:57 Permalink

I tend to avoid people that i think have bad attitudes because they put me in the same mood.I cant afford to be in a bad mood or have an attitude I tell it as i see it now, thats bad enough although i try to do it discreetly not with an attitude, but if someone gives me an attitude ill give it back im not carrying any extra loads. lol

Wed, 01/23/2008 - 21:12 Permalink

I have read some of your posts and don't think that you give yourself the credit you should dadummy.

Did you happen to see that Laura made it through it, it took some time, but she managed to get it under control.

I tend to avoid people that i think have bad attitudes because they put me in the same mood.

I know what you mean, it is catchy, I try to stay away from these people too, but sometimes I am that person, LOL. I was today at work, did not get much sleep last night, was up at 3:30 am for about an hour, I am trying to stay awake tonight so I get a full nights rest. I am moody when I am tired.

Thu, 01/24/2008 - 00:38 Permalink

Yes we all are. We dont feel like doing stuff and then tend to misbehave. No more for me LOL. I have smothered myself a lot right erb?

Thu, 01/24/2008 - 09:27 Permalink

Maybe you need to detox! Seriously, you can detox and get a lot of crap out of your body. You do this for three days, you do not drink anything but water. You eat only ruffage, such as water based fruits and lettuce. It is only a three day process but it takes all the toxins out of your body. Give it a shot, you will feel great afterwards. If you think about the detox, you are essentially draining your body of the crap, washing it out with the water and the water based fruits and vegetables. You can take your vitamens and healthy supplements in this time frame to make sure that you are getting the proper nutrition, especially if you are not a healthy person.

Fri, 01/25/2008 - 02:48 Permalink

I will try and tell you lunchtime. Too much junk and late nights for the past few days. I need it now i guess.

Fri, 01/25/2008 - 12:23 Permalink

Found this and thought it related to our post here.

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Fri, 01/25/2008 - 23:52 Permalink

Looks like something that would be worth considering, if you truly dedicated some time to it, you may be able to see things this way and clearly and not get so mad and snap so quickly.

I suppose you could log your journal anyway that you wanted to be, weather it be on a word processor, or in hand written form. Either way you are getting it out.

Tue, 01/29/2008 - 20:52 Permalink

I cant say anything about attitudes I get in moods from time to time and make everyone aroud me mierable. Ive got heart problems and sometimes I get lack of oxygen, but sometimes i just need time to myself which seems to be a problem with everyone else. I get sad and just need to readjust sometimes I just like alone time to do my own things with out everyone telling me how or what I should do. Im always saying im sorry when sometimes others should say it for a change.

Sat, 02/02/2008 - 21:51 Permalink
Angel (not verified)

Dang some of the people you have to deal with a real snobbs! dont you guys just wish that you coukld vanish the people that are mean?


Sun, 10/19/2008 - 21:38 Permalink

I hat the mood of bill collectors. I keep getting creditors calling for a lady who doesn't live here. Can't wait should be able to change my number pretty soon and I can't wait. Everytime I weed out her collectors the debt is resold and starts it all over. My lucj is when I do change my number it will be another one like this.

Thu, 11/13/2008 - 23:54 Permalink

That's life buddy, we all have to deal with different kinds of attitudes. We'll get to encounter those in life. Don't feel too bad about it.

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